Psychic twins 01/31/2007

THAT was a breathtaking piece of demagoguery George W. Bush unleashed upon the Filipinos, if not the world, last weekend. He called up his equally miserable and alienated counterpart in that miserable and alienated part of the world called the Philippines to thank her for her support in fighting terrorism.

We know at least that that phone call really took place. We know that not because Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s voice, if not Bush’s, is unmistakable, something we heard in another phone conversation some time ago. We know that because an American official confirmed the fact. This government being what it is, it is not beyond inventing it (certainly it has not been loath to embellish it). Bush called up Arroyo in Davos at 4 p.m. last Friday to congratulate her for her “fantastic leadership” in fighting the Abu Sayyaf.

That is all very nice, except for one thing: Nobody believes Bush is fighting terrorism. Indeed, nobody believes Bush, period. Still, indeed, nobody believes Arroyo, either.

Of course, Bush will praise Arroyo for being at his corner at this time. Nobody else is. Not the United Nations, and not the usual suspects, which are America’s traditional allies, except the Philippines, probably not even the government he installed in Iraq after invading it on the basis of an outright and outrageous lie. Bush’s latest decision to escalate US troop deployment in Iraq has met only worldwide condemnation, even from timid Japan. Japan’s foreign minister said invading Iraq on the notion that it had weapons of mass destruction was a fatal mistake, and sending more troops to Iraq on the notion it will improve the situation there is an even bigger mistake.

There is, in fact, a precedent for Bush calling up Arroyo to congratulate her for being a passionate crusader against terror. That was George Bush Sr., who was still Ronald Reagan’s vice president at the time, while on a visit here toasting Ferdinand Marcos for the latter’s passionate adherence to democracy. Like father, like son.

But what can one say at that spectacle of Bush Jr. coddling Arroyo, or the other way around? They deserve each other!

They do quite incidentally in more ways than one. Bush’s congratulatory phone call last Friday drove home one awesome point to me with the force of Zen enlightenment. That is, that they are uncanny political psychic twins.

Both are the scions of presidents who did not particularly distinguish themselves and ended up being battered by flamboyant rivals in elections. Bush the elder lost to Bill Clinton, who sneered at him with the line, “It’s the economy, stupid.” Diosdado Macapagal lost to Ferdinand Marcos who sneered at him with the line, “Alis d’yan” [“Get out of there”]. Both scions carried a huge chip on their shoulders. Both got to have the hots for absolute power.

Both cheated in elections to become president. Bush ripped off Al Gore in Florida, with no small aid from his brother Jeb, who orchestrated the cheating, not least by wrongly listing large numbers of blacks and Democrats as “felons” who were ineligible to vote. Jeb also fought off a recount that would have shown Gore ahead.

Arroyo, well, ask Garci, though all you will get are lies. But ask him anyway if only to elevate his blood pressure to lethal levels.

America lost more, of course, not just in having a thug in the White House but in not having an enlightened being in the form of Gore in it. But, well, FPJ doesn’t loom badly from hindsight: He seemed at least to have been possessed of epic decency in contrast to the epic indecency of the one currently occupying Malacañang.

Both Arroyo and Bush are breathtakingly mediocre individuals whose capacity for evil their respective constituents completely underestimated. Bush was -- and is -- a bumbling idiot who bumblingly idiotically turned the world into a quagmire, trashing the UN, trashing age-old protocols about international relationships, and trashing the foundations of peace his predecessors spent their lives to build. Arroyo was just hanging on by the coattails of Corazon Aquino and Jaime Cardinal Sin until she was thrust to power. And then she screwed them, too, turning this country into a quagmire, trashing the presidency, trashing democracy and trashing every hallowed tradition of freedom her predecessors spent their lives to build.

Both are God’s -- or the devil’s -- gift to lying. Bush invaded Iraq claiming it had weapons of mass destruction. Arroyo invaded the presidency claiming votes of massive invention. Well, she said she would not run to begin with.

Both have completely terrorized their countries -- in Bush’s case apart from the world. Bush unleashed a new McCarthyism upon the United States, witch-hunting terrorists who were people who looked suspiciously like Arabs or wore beards, luxurious or otherwise, demanding levels of patriotism known previously only to Joseph McCarthy and sundry jingoists. “You are either for me or against me,” he said after 9/11, which, like I said earlier, made the choice extremely easy. Later, one magnificent philosopher-cum-sage-cum-student of glorious cultural learnings would come to show him up. His name was Borat.

Arroyo, well, look at the characters around her: Ronnie Puno, Raul Gonzalez, the Garci generals, the Prosperos and Katzenjammer Kids from Bicol of Congress, and Mr. Libel Suit himself. And count the number of dead over the last couple of years.

Both have become the most hated persons on the planet. Both, like Medusa, have caused people to die simply by gazing at them, which in these media-fed times is virtually inescapable. Both have become the Number One (and Two) recruiters of al-Qaeda.

Ah, but there’s the rub. The Americans have already rejected Bush, turning him into a Barely Smoldering, Never Mind Burning, Bush for the remainder of his second term. When will we do the same for someone who never won it?

http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/columns/view_article.php?article_id=46559